It's Been Awhile
by Technical Technicalities
Summary: It's been awhile since I said I'm sorry...I miss you Kyle. I really do.


A/N: So...

First songfic for South Park (I do not own South Park or the music lyrics provided by Staind)

Takes place sometime between You're Getting Old and Assburgers. Stan's POV

Another Stan and Kyle fic.

Song lyrics typed like _this_

* * *

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could hold my head up high_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I first saw you_

Sorry Kyle. I'm sorry that I scared you away. You must be happy that I'm moving away, especially because we aren't friends anymore. I couldn't believe it. We've been best...super best friends since preschool. Why did you end our friendship so quickly? I guess I have a problem.

I haven't been the same. You noticed that though. All I can really do is gaze at the shit-filled world and sigh. I haven't smiled since my birthday. I'm only ten, why should I go through this?

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could stand on my own two feet again_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could call you_

I haven't talked to you in a while. I haven't seen you since you came up to me at the movie theatre. That's when you stopped being friends with me...the day my life fucked up.

It's been a long time for me I suppose. Sure, two days isn't long to people, but it is to people who see everything as shit, and are friendless. I wish I could talk to you again, but you won't answer your phone. I want to come see you again though. I want to apologize, but I don't want to go out into the world right now. I don't like walking in shit very much.

I would do it for you though Kyle. I miss our friendship already. I honestly didn't realize how much I took our friendship for granted. I realize now though. But you don't care anyway, so why even try to talk to you?

However, I want to see you still.

_And everything I can't remember_

_As fucked up as it all may seem_

_The consequences that I've rendered_

_I've stretched myself beyond my means_

I'd love to explain to you how fucked up this is. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't understand anyway, but I want someone to be by me. I would like someone who would be willing to help me...isn't that what a super best friend is for?

Super best friends are supposed to help their other super best friend out right? They're supposed to have sleepovers, and stick by each other, defend each other, hang out, and be like brothers/sisters basically, right? So why haven't you done the most important things- stick by me, help me?

Were we super best friends in the first place?

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I can say that I wasn't addicted_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I can say I love myself as well_

Oh well. I can't blame you, I wouldn't be friends with me anymore either. Currently, I'm just in my room. Just staring at these four white walls, the only thing that doesn't look like shit. I can't even lie down in my own bed, it looks like a big pile of shit with four little shits on the top. Would you want to lie down in that? I thought so.

I decided today that I'm going to come visit you. I'm moving away soon, and I might as well say goodbye to you. I just want to apologize for changing...

And then I'll be gone. You and Kenny and Cartman can be a trio. It isn't the four musketeers, now is it?

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do_

_And it's been awhile_

_But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you_

Yes, at least I'll be gone. Since I was the supposed 'leader' of our little group, I'm guessing that I was responsible most of the fuck-ups that happened. Sure, Cartman was to blame for most of them, but I am (or was) the leader...

I'll miss you a lot dude. I loved to hang out with you. It was easy to forget a lot of troubles when we hung out. It was fun to play video games with you, and it was fun to yell at the television when some character did something stupid. It was also fun to laugh at something funny with you.

I'll miss the time I spent with you. I'll miss the sleepovers, the notes in class, the adventures, the everything.

You'll just replace me though, won't you?

_And everything I can't remember_

_As fucked up as it all may seem_

_The consequences that I've rendered_

_I've gone and fucked things up again_

My tenth birthday was now three days ago, and to tell you the truth, I believe that I'm sinking deeper into the pit of depression. Everything is still shit. I haven't eaten since yesterday, when my mom force-shoved waffles down my throat. It tasted like shit...

Gosh, I'm just fucking up everything aren't I? I think that another bottle of whiskey should help...

_Why must I feel this way?_

_Just make this go away_

_Just one more peaceful day!_

I want everything to go back to the way it was. I miss being able to see the world normally. I miss when everything wasn't complete shit. Oh, what I wouldn't give for a normal day...

We could spend the day laughing at things for no reason. I know that if I could just return things to normal for one day, then I'd spend that day with you. I need everything to go back to the way it was...

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could look at myself straight_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I said I'm sorry_

It's getting quite boring in my room. I've tried to look out the window but I just can't. I think you know why by now Kyle, hm? I can't bear this for much longer. I've tried to drink whiskey. It helps...for a few hours. And then it wears off and everything is just the same old shit as it was before.

I have to say though, have I told you that I'm sorry? I was supposed to come by today and tell you that, but I don't want to. Nerves have gotten the better of me, again. Maybe I can stop by tomorrow...

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I've seen the way the candles light your face_

_And it's been awhile_

I miss you Kyle, I really do. Remember when we would stay up late in my room and tell each other random stories? I do.

And I always found it cool how you didn't care that you slept in my bed. You didn't care that the others (meaning Cartman) called you and me fags and shit like that. They just don't have super best friends.

_And everything I can't remember_

_As fucked up as it all may seem to be I know it's me_

_I cannot blame this on my father_

_He did the best he could for me_

Oh well, I guess I'm moving away in a couple of days. I need to talk to you, but I just can't work up the nerve to see you again. Maybe I should drink before I talk to you. I should at least remember you as your angry, vibrant self, not as a piece of shit.

But then again, I'll probably just make a worse impression on you if I'm staggering around drunk while trying to apologize. Today, I'll do it, I swear I will.

I stood up, and exited my room for the first time in a while. I started walking to your house, trying to not look at anything but the sidewalk. I spotted little cracks in it, along with random pieces of grass sprouting up. I saw your house. It wasn't shit.

I rang your doorbell Kyle. Nobody answered for a while, but I was determined this time to see you. I wasn't going to run away this time.

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I could hold my head up high_

_And it's been awhile_

_Since I said I'm sorry_

You finally answered the door...and you didn't say anything. I had to be the first one to talk.

"Uhm...hi." I said.

"Yes?" You answered.

"I'm sorry."


End file.
